Ragamuffin Ramblingswe relate to God on a surface level because anything deeper.... might hurt
pcwalker
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Name: PC
Gender: Male


Interests: speaking, writing, reading, drinking coffee
Expertise: I rarely bring expertise to anything...I typically bring experience to everything
Occupation: ministry leader
Industry: church


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Member Since: 1/4/2004

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Saturday, March 14, 2009

Currently
You Can't Trust a Ladder
By The Myriad
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my xanga relationship is getting rocky

In attempts to narrow my blogging to less spots, I am thinking, again, of closing down my xanga account.

It is difficult because xanga was my very first blog, and there is some sense of abandonment and betrayal that would come with my leaving xanga.

I also would miss the tags I have created at xanga with several archived blogs over the course of nearly 6 years.

BUT...

I have reached a time when there are rarely any views of my posts at xanga, and it even fewer interactions with those who are reading. I am also copying and reposting each blog at my wordpress and blogspot where I am beginning to see more interaction. 

Even though it pains me to even consider this, could my relationship with xanga be nearing an end? What do you say?


Thursday, March 05, 2009

Currently
Gold
By Ryan Adams
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Spoke w/The Incredible Hulk

I spoke with the Incredible Hulk yesterday through text message.

"I don't feel anything anymore. Does that make sense?"

"More than you know!"

"All the stuff I do, or what people react to is not something I even care about anymore."

The truth is we all do this in one way or another. We numb things so we do not have to feel them. We either fight or fly. Therefore some who get angry because if they are angry or fighting, they don't have to feel pain. They've numbed it.

There are others of us who can block it from our hearts and minds. We can literally pretend it does not exist. Both are equally numb.

I am the latter. My friend: the former. Both numb the pain so we do not have to feel pain. The problem is that both hurt those who are closest to us.

One hurts people with his anger. The other hurts people with his lacking emotional presence. When we numb in either way, we hurt those around us.

"Yeah, and I just keep people at a distance."

Of course! If they get close, they may hurt you, and if they do, you will try to numb the pain of that hurt by blowing up. Then that hurts them, and you don't WANT to hurt them. So it makes sense to keep them at a distance so it never comes to that.

Bruce Banner escapes to a remote area in order to keep himself away from people who may hurt him and enflame his anger. It is simply safer that way. He does not wish to hurt anyone, but he knows what is capable of becoming. So he isolates and distances himself from people...from the possibility of love and relationship.

With relationship comes the possibility of hurt.

But the great story behind the badass special effects is watching Bruce Banner learn to love again; watching him learn to control the anger in order to feel other things as opposed to numbing and isolating.


Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Currently
Disciplines for the Inner Life
By Michael W. Benson
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The Day I Short-changed God

Slowly, I have been reading through the book "Disciplines for the Inner Life" by Bob and Michael Benson. It has been a great book to work through as it guides me each day into scripture and reflection on how to grow closer and closer to the heart of God. Aside from Ozzie Chambers, this book has been one of few books to really challenge my mind and heart toward intimacy with Jesus and the life that comes of that intimacy.

Each week brings a new topic or characteristic for me to enter into. Last week I fell behind. I admittedly got lazy and failed to come to scripture in order to see what God may have had for me to see and learn. I further admit it may have had more to do with the topic of the week: humility.

My head and my heart seemingly did not want to read about, learn about, much less be challenged to humility.

So, stubbornly, since I had already fallen behind on the week, I just flew through the remainder of last week's readings so I could just move on to this week's topic: obedience.

I will just let you rest in the humor of that little jest of God's on my behalf.


Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Currently
The Tangible Kingdom: Creating Incarnational Community (J-B Leadership Network Series)
By Hugh Halter, Matt Smay
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Arrogance

If "arrogance compels us to treat our limits not as unique openings through which God can reveal his goodness but as diseases to be cured," then you may refer to me as arrogant as the rest.

* quote by Susan Annette Mutto


Friday, February 20, 2009

Currently
In Our Nature
By Jose Gonzalez
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Jesus Prayer

The last week has brought me each day to take a look at what is known as the "Jesus Prayer". It is one very simple prayer, in one thought, which communicates and professes a myriad of things.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

The prayer was formed by the early Desert Fathers, and it eventually became a classic and common form of prayer.  You see a similar statement in Luke 18:35-43 with the blind beggar, and you commonly see historic uses of it in rhythm with your breathing. (Inhale "Lord Jesus Christ....Exhale "have mercy on me...")

I have been reading and praying the Jesus Prayer this week with refreshing realizations. In one simple prayer, you profess adoration and attrition. You profess the glory of God and the sinfulness of man. It is penitential while also being joyful and confident. It is fundamentally Christilogical.

It is simple enough to begin as we realize the most common block to prayer is the act of simply beginning. The prayer is discursive: it does not move from one thought to another. Yet, some have said, it sums up the whole Gospel.

It professes the Lordship of Jesus Christ and the reality of the Incarnation by addressing Jesus. It is a profession of what Jesus is; Son of God, which opens a profession of the Trinity (SON to the FATHER; something we'd only believe with the help of the SPIRIT).

It also professes and confesses our dire need for mercy and grace, which theologians stuffily refer to as "depravity". The prayer leads our thoughts to the life of Christ while facing us with the story of our helplessness. It is a petition of a poor, humble, and recognizably sinful soul. It is a CRY for mercy.

In most cases, it is intended to be repeated frequently throughout the day to help accomplish what Paul challenged us to do; PRAY CONSTANTLY (1 Thess. 5:17). When repeated frequently, it can lead to a real life change. It reorders our priorities.

It can be practiced and prayed anywhere at any moment. It does not have to be vocalized, and at different times, can find its deeps soul-connection in the silent meeting of the heart. C.S. Lewis wrote, "I still think the prayer without words is the best--if one can really achieve it."

I have found that to be quite true of the Jesus Prayer.  I may not find my soul to meet in that silent prayer each day at all times. It would be the Stoic Error of "thinking we can do always what we can do sometimes." But I continue to remember the Jesus Prayer this week.  I intend to write it out, to vocalize it, and to silently drive my soul to pray it as constantly as I can muster.

LORD JESUS CHRIST, SON OF GOD, HAVE MERCY ON ME, A SINNER



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